Sorry to keep you hanging without an update.
I've had Internet issues and to be honest, I was worn down.
I want so badly to guard my thoughts and words. I need to be gentle and kind. So figuring out how I was going to relay what happened at court was challenging.
We did not get the TPR.
In fact, the case wasn't even heard.
A little back story: Birth parents declined legal representation at the beginning of the case. Then when BF was arrested for drug charges, he decided to have a lawyer in this case too. At the March hearing, BM decided that she too wanted this same lawyer. The judge went over complications that could come up if they were sharing a lawyer, but they signed a waiver that they understood and the case would not be held up due to this.
Well, you can probably guess, complications have arose and BM wants a new lawyer.
And apparently, she decided to wait until the morning of court to tell anyone she wanted a new lawyer.
And even though they signed the waiver, the Judge decided to allow a continuance to give her time to contact a lawyer.
It's really silly.
The Judge even told her that unless she was nearly done with the case plan (which she is no where near completing) that she would be ruling for DFACS to get another 6 month custody order.
She still wanted a lawyer.
So we go back June 7th. This hearing will just be what this past one was supposed to be, not the TPR.
We will have a different Judge, which I'm hoping and praying is a good thing. I've heard the Judge we will have is a no nonsense Judge. And we could use a dose of no nonsense.
We also found out that the TPR hasn't been filed with the courts. That should be done within 4 months, hopefully much, much sooner.
The Judge did decide to do a status review.
Listening to the lawyer go over how poorly BM is doing and then there being zero consequence burned me up inside. I was literally shaking I was so mad.
It is so very obvious that she cannot care for him, yet we are still having to go through this dance with the courts.
She claimed that she, "appreciates all the Pope family has done, but she would like him placed with her step uncle if TPR goes through."
The Judge did change BF's status to Non Reunification since he will not be out of jail before the case is over.
Don't worry, DFACS didn't even consider it. He's an older, single man who is not a blood relative and has never even met the baby.
BM has done NOTHING in the past 10 months to get any closer to finishing the case plan, so we are still confident that the TPR will go through, but it's frustrating.
And I can't lie, every time we walk out of that court room and she is still his legal mother, it gets harder.
Technically, she would have to be clean, have stable housing, and a full time job for 6 straight months before he could be sent to her and the clock hasn't even started since she has none of those things. We will have the TPR hearing before enough time can even pass for her to stand a chance.
But they are SO easy on her in court.
And this time ended up being the hardest on me emotionally.
I know it's because I was so confident that this was it. The end of the waiting.
So when the continuance was granted, it knocked the wind out of my sails.
It made it hard to listen to the CASA worker reassuring me that it's going to work in our favor.
I'm just ready for a victory.
BM's Mom showed up at court too.
And while I wasn't expecting her to look like any of my mom's, I was surprised by what she did look and act like.
It confirmed in my heart that this child doesn't stand a chance with them.
The cycle was obvious. The lack of means was obvious.
After the ruling (which was technically in their favor) she ran out of the courtroom yelling, "My baby needs to come home!!!"
And, once again I'll be honest, I almost snapped.
It was too much.
I was too drained.
And the Mama Bear in me almost made a very public appearance.
How dare she?!?!
What size clothes does he wear? Does he like peas? Does he sleep on his stomach or his back?
Do you know that he throws his head back to laugh when he's really, really happy?
Can you trace his scar without looking?
Do you schedule all his appointments or give him his medication?
When was the last time you got up all night to soothe him?
What a joke.
As if birthing a child made you a mother.
I know that this is a process. And I know that God is refining me. Teaching me. Molding me.
I see the difference in who I am today versus who I was last June.
My priorities have changed, my outlook has changed.
And I appreciate the process.
But Lord am I ready to call this one a wrap.
Court wasn't a fail.
DFACS custody will be renewed, no doubt about it.
So my frustration doesn't come from that. It's just how blatantly obvious the right move for Gabe is, and the fact that legally, that doesn't matter.
So that's it.
We wait 30 days and do it all again.