gratitude

It's dark and cold and I don't want to get out of bed.

But the smell of coffee and the promise of an hour alone lure me out from under the covers and into the day.

I sit on the couch with a book and my coffee flavored with a touch of half and half and watch the darkness open up and make way for all this new day has in store.

Laundry, schooling, refereeing.

I'll cook food and pick up toys and tell my husband that his crazy job is a crazy blessing even when it drives us both to the brink of insanity.

A few years back, in the midst of a minor dispute, a good friend's husband told her that, "this is the life you chose," and sitting here today I can't help but smile that this right here?  This early rising, busy scheduled, full to the brim life is exactly what I chose.

And I'm full of gratitude.

My actions weren't always choosing this life.

Just 14 years ago I was not headed towards a loving husband, a house in the country, two gorgeous children.

I was headed to ruin.  Death.  Choosing drugs and what I dared to call friends over anything that actually held substance.

And maybe that's why I wake up most days so full of gladness that I feel like shouting.  Because I know how close I was to none of this being real.  This second chance that I in no way deserved, yet here I am.

Our God is a God that urges us to stand back up and try again.

My life isn't a constant vision of perfection or absent of trials.

Money gets tight, my kids fight, my son has a very sick heart and an even more unsure future.  But even in that, in whatever it is that you are facing today, you have a choice in how you respond.

The sun is peeking over the horizon and today you get to choose again.