2.18.2011

We're Not Even Close

I've had a heavy thought on my heart since Gabe's last Cardiologist appointment.

It struck me like a hammer the moment his Birth Mother walked into the room.

It pulled at my emotions as I handed him over to her.

Something I've known in my head but realized for the first time in my heart.

Her and I?

We aren't even close.

Not the least bit similar.

There seriously is not one common ground that I share with her.

Other then that we both want this baby.

The stark contrast between us takes my breath away.

Which got me thinking about the unbelieveable difference that means for Gabe's life.

There will be no common ground.

No familiar comforts.

It's a firm fork in the road of his life.

And as I looked at the woman sitting in the chair across from me, holding my baby, I had to hold back tears.

I caught a glimpse of just how much his day to day life will change if the Judge rules in her favor.

She will love him the best she can.

She will try to provide for him.

She will convince herself she is the best option.

But it will be nothing compared to what I offer him.

She offers a broken home with a Father serving 5 to 10 years in State Prison.

I offer a stable home with a supportive extended family that love him to peices.

She has no home, no job, no idea what it takes to raise a child.

No Chance.

And as I was trying to push this thought out of my head a new question consumed me.

Wanna know what question I couldn't get out of my head?

Will she remember to buy him socks?

Strange, huh?

I had an overwhemling need to inform her that she'll need to buy him socks.

My baby's feet get cold and they grow fast so she needs to get him socks.

I know that for this next two weeks, as we wait for our court date, my mind will be a battlefeild.

Full of What If's and How Come's.

I'm hoping and praying that I can walk into that courtroom confident that Gabe's best interest will be obtained.

Because if they send my baby back to her, he will be in unfamiliar land.

And that breaks my heart.

11 comments:

Tristan said...

I pray over this situation daily!!!
It would break my heart for you if they sent him back.

Kim said...

That breaks me heart to. Which means you will just have to pray extra hard. We are all pulling for Gabe to have the best life possible.

Kameron said...

I pray the decision will be what's best for him. :o(

miamihoney said...

I am so sorry that your heart is heavy. Prayers of peace for you. I hope that Gabe gets the opportunity to grow with your family.

miamihoney said...
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Donovan Doins said...

I will keep everyone involved in my prayers. God is ever faithful in loving us, and I know that He will sustain you as you walk this winding road.

Josie Kolasa said...

We are also praying for you at our house. That sweet boy deserves the best life. Hang in there, you've got a whole team of support behind you.

MyLinda said...

I know exactly how you're feeling! I've BTDT and I know that there are no words at this point to comfort or take your mind off of things :( I'm praying that Gabe will have the best life possible...and be your son forever.

Amber said...

You know I'm praying! Love ya! And remember it's in God's hands!

Crystal said...

This post broke my heart. I am praying that Gabe becomes apart of the Pope family!! He seems like such a sweet baby and he deserves the best that life has to offer him!

Pipsylou said...

Praying for the Lord to open the judge's heart in a supernatural way. This post hit so close to home.