12.02.2010

Breathing Out

We walked into court 100% sure that we knew exactly what was going to happen.

We'd gone over the plan with the caseworker.  Baby Mama had been advised and signed the paperwork.

But we learned today that even when everyone is in agreement about what is going to happen, the Judge has the last word.

The plan was to start a concurrent case plan.

Plan one was the exact same plan that they had been working.  Get a job, get a house, stay off drugs.

But since they failed that plan so miserably, they would also be starting a Non Reunionification Plan.  This allowed DFACS to begin Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) if the Birth Parents were messing up at all.

Since the Birth Parents had done so horrible, the Dad showed up in his Prison stripes and handcuffed for crying out loud, we all expected it to be signed off on with no questions.

The hearing went well.  Gabe's lawyer and the Gaurdian Ad Litem were completely on the side of termination.  The lawyer spent the majority of the hearing shaking his head in disbelief at what the Birth Parents had managed to screw up in the past 5 months.

But when it came down to decision time, the Judge wasn't ready to put termination on the table.

The main reason was that the Birth Father hasn't had his trial for the drug charges yet so technically he hasn't been proven guilty.  Even though he has signed a confession that it was his, the drugs were in his apartment, and there were scales on the counter in the kitchen.

It is my firm belief that he will be convicted in December when his case is heard.

The Judge decided that we will go back to court on March 3rd.  If the Birth Father has gone to jail and if the Birth Mother hasn't made any progress, they will begin termination.

At first I was livid.

How could they not see that termination should be started immediatly?

Could she not see us as the obvious choice for Gabe?

But the more I thought about it, the more I began to see this as a blessing.

The original plan gave them 6 months to get everything together.  Now they only get 3.

And while it can be done, the chances are slim.

We have no idea what will happen at the hearing in March.  They could begin to terminate or they could begin to send him back.  They could just extend the plan.

So this week I am working on regaining my faith.

To breathe out.

To exhale.

Because I know that I can't spend the next 120 days holding my breath.  Waiting for the shoe to drop.

Court did not go as we planned. 

But it wasn't a loss.

6 comments:

bri said...

I know how you feel. I am so sorry you are in this boat. The waters a bit rough at times but when it all comes down to it, we take care of all in the boat with us and when we look up and see Jesus walking on the water toward us... we go out and meet Him there! He will not let us fall!
You are a great Mommy to Gabe and everyone involved knows that. It is now, just a matter of "technicalities". They stink but in the long run God gets the final say :).

Blessings! Run strong and finish well!

Savoir Affaire said...

I hope all goes well for you!

Savvy Little Women - Kate said...

My friend is going through a similar thing, I can't imagine how tough it must be. Praying all goes well!!

Donovan Doins said...

Oh, I don't know what to say, Except that I know exactly how you feel. The court days can be sooo treacherous.
I will pray that the next 120 days will be a huge blessing of God's goodness for your family. That every breath you gain will be a glorious reflection of the goodness of God.

Melissa said...

It sounds like the judge wants to make sure that there are no grounds for an appeal. Although sometimes it feels like they are dragging things out, it is best that they do it right so that when its over it is really over. Prayers for all of you. Enjoy him. Looking back over our adoption journey, I wish that I could have enjoyed our daughter without the stress of what ifs hanging over us. Easier said than done, I know! Prayers for you all.

kimmer said...

You are amazing and so very loving. The baby is in the very best place right now with you and Andrew keeping him safe and with so much love. We will all continue to pray for Gods blessings. We take one day at a time and we breathe out and know that God is with us each step of the way. I love him, too!