Sacrificing My Issac

I've been spending a lot of time in my Bible and talking to God trying to figure out what His plan is for Baby V.

I want to be submitted to what He has called me to do, while at the same time wanting to twist His arm into letting him stay.

After meeting his Birth Parents I was even more convinced that we were the most reasonable choice. That his life with us would be better, safer, more complete.

Surely God couldn't argue with that.

I was sitting in church Wednesday night, praying about the baby, when it hit me.

Sometimes God makes unreasonable requests.

A child taken too soon. A lost dream. A missed opportunity.

Sarah and Abraham waited years for Issac.

And then God asked Abraham to kill him.

And Abraham was going to.

Unreasonable?

Yes.

But sometimes, God asks us to do the impossible. And it's our job to trust that He knows what He's doing.

How can I trust that He formed the Earth from nothing? That He has counted the hairs on my head? That my sins are forgiven?

Yet think that Baby V's life is out of His hands?

God hasn't told me if Baby V is staying or if he's going. But I'm OK with the fact that I may not ever understand the why.

So I'm giving him up daily. Sacrificing my Issac. Trusting that God is in control.

Even if it's not the outcome I want.

I believe God has given me strength for my days. That whatever I'm up against is nothing compared to what is in me.

I also believe that God wouldn't have placed him in our home if we weren't going to have an impact on his life. Be it for a couple months or the rest of his life.

Being a Foster Parent is my assignment.

These kids are my assignment.

Some people go their whole lives without ever learning what God has created them for.

I'm 100% sure this is what I was made to do.

Mother the Motherless.

Hold the Abandoned.

Rock the Unloved.

And then release them into God's hands.

It's uncomfortable. It's scary. It will surely hurt and break my heart.

But victory is on the other side. The blessing is in obedience. And if I listen, God will lead me.

He sees all of my days. He formed the mountains and crafted the stars. Surely He can hold this 6 month old baby in his hands and guide him safely home.

Wherever that may end up being.