I Never Knew

When they placed you in my arms, I never knew that my future was being changed forever.

I never knew that I would stay up late, get up early, and lose hours of sleep just to watch you sleep.

I wasn't aware of how many times the word "Mommy" could be said in a day or how a munchkin voice would sound laughing outloud.

I didn't expect to so desperatly need a break but then cry at the quiet of you not being home.

I had never carried 20 pounds of baby in one arm and 20 pounds of supplies in the other.

I didn't know that the minutes could pass so slowly, but the years would fly by.

Nobody told me you would grow and change and mature right in front of my eyes. That baby fat and roly poly legs would go to bed one night and wake up in the morning looking tall and slender.

I never knew how silly a little girl could be.

Before I became your Mommy I didn't know how scary it would be to be responsible for the life you lead.

That your failings and pain would be just as much my failings and pain.

I never knew I would love this deeply.

For three years I have strived to teach you about life, fairness, and faith. How to be kind and generous. I have hoped and prayed that you could understand even a fraction of the love I have for you.

And while I though I was the one doing the teaching, when I look back it was just as much of you teaching me.

Truth, laughter, Unconditional Love, Forgiveness.

Peace.

Before you, I'm pretty sure I never knew much of anything.