5.09.2010

I Never Knew

2009 058

When they placed you in my arms, I never knew that my future was being changed forever.
I never knew that I would stay up late, get up early, and lose hours of sleep just to watch you sleep.
I wasn't aware of how many times the word "Mommy" could be said in a day or how a munchkin voice would sound laughing outloud.
I didn't expect to so desperatly need a break but then cry at the quiet of you not being home.
I had never carried 20 pounds of baby in one arm and 20 pounds of supplies in the other.

2009 053

I didn't know that the minutes could pass so slowly, but the years would fly by.
Nobody told me you would grow and change and mature right in front of my eyes. That baby fat and roly poly legs would go to bed one night and wake up in the morning looking tall and slender.
I never knew how silly a little girl could be.

2009 063

Before I became your Mommy I didn't know how scary it would be to be responsible for the life you lead.
That your failings and pain would be just as much my failings and pain.
I never knew I would love this deeply.

2009 060

For three years I have strived to teach you about life, fairness, and faith. How to be kind and generous. I have hoped and prayed that you could understand even a fraction of the love I have for you.
And while I though I was the one doing the teaching, when I look back it was just as much of you teaching me.
Truth, laughter, Unconditional Love, Forgiveness.

Peace.

2009 064

Before you, I'm pretty sure I never knew much of anything.

4 comments:

The Benefields said...

for someone who doesnt know how to cry you sure do know how to make other people! butthead

Elizabeth said...

Nicole....I loved this post! It brought tears to my eyes. The love for a child from a mother, I'm sure...is like no other. The pictures are beautiful!

Brooke said...

Beautiful post, beautiful pictures.

POPS said...

your comments prove beyond doubt that you indeed knew many things before josie. angle just brought it all out to the surface. you are awesome!