Snowing in Dixie

The South got a late winter surprise yesterday... SNOW!
I was completely skeptical when the news called for a few inches to fall since I was wearing a t-shirt on Saturday. But by the time we left church yesterday, huge wet flakes were falling fast!
By the time we got home from lunch it was starting to stick to the ground, and by the time naps were over, we had definite accumulation!I think the snow is gorgeous, but I'm still glad I don't live in it on a regular basis!I'm a wimp, so we didn't go out to play in it. Hey, if it's cold enough for the snow to actually stick to the ground, it's too cold for me!
So Josie and I made a snowman inside!

We did brave the cold to go have dinner at Aaron and Sheena's house. The biggest blizzard in the world couldn't keep me away from her cooking! It was amazing! And Josie plays so great with Julian.

Andrew is off today and Josie is at her Nana's, so we are having a date day. Right now we are just hanging out trying to come up with a plan.

And for the news I know you are all here for, still no official decision.
Well, we made our official decision on Friday night. Insurance was going to be way too much for our budget to handle. There was just no way to make it work. So we decided to try to link the birth family up with one of our friends who was having a hard time getting pregnant.
Then she just emailed me back to say that she just didn't feel her heart was in adoption. Which I totally understand. It's not for everyone.
So now I'm back to square one.
I really thought that God was putting that family's name on my heart. Now I'm just not sure.
Well, actually, now I want him more then ever.
I am going to run a full list of the costs that I can foresee; formula, diapers, attorney's fees, insurance, clothes. I need to get a general idea of what the expense would be and see if we can do it.
I've decided I'm ok with the selfish reasons I had for not doing it. They are all so temporary.
We have family who has said they would help us with the costs. I just have to figure out if I think that is asking too much. I'm not sure how I feel about bringing a child into the family if we can't fully support him on our own.
Needless to say, prayers are still needed. I'm going to call the birth family today to let them know we are still trying to make it work.
I am still not sure what God wants us to do in this situation.

How many of you have kids that are two years apart? Can I get an honest view of how crazy it is? Is it manageable? Are you stuck in your house all the time?

On a lighter note, I did manage to get most of our things packed into the suitcase before we left Arizona. My mom will be bringing the rest in a couple weeks when she comes for a layover. Getting it all unpacked is a whole nother story!
And here's Miss Josie sleeping on the plane. Such an angel.
By the way, I'd be perfectly happy and content if she is the only child to bear our last name.
My heart was complete the day she looked into my eyes.


Betsy said...

SNOW! It is beginning to look like spring here. I hate the cold too! My boys are 16 months apart and we did not really notice the costs of the second one. He just kind of fit right in. It is harder to go out and about but not too hard. They are so close and funny to watch be together.

Amber said...

That's a hard one...I am probably the only one that will say this to you...I completely understand your feelings on the financial part of it. I know people say your never financially ready for a baby but we personally feel that you still have to use a little sense. That is why we waited so long to start trying. We will keep you guys in our prayers. It is an extremely hard decision. I know you guys will make the right decision for your family and the little guy.

I thought the same thing about Baby Mabes, I couldn't believe how developed it already us. That is why it took my breath away. We need to get together soon!

Kayla said...

Me and Kayce are 18 months apart, and our parents got out plenty. But we had a live-in nanny until I was in elementary school, so I guess that makes a difference?

We fought a lot and it was crazy, but I feel like we probably fought with Tabitha who is 8 years older than me and 10 years older than Kayce just as much! Me and Kayce are best friends now. :)

ashleyjnc said...

I think your reasons are good, but, if you can give a child the love of a family... and now that you are a stay at home mom, you have the time.. if your family is willing to help the adoption along, take it! You should be able to get a significant tax break for adopting as well. Will you be able to forgive yourself in a few months when the urge for one more child knocks repeatedly at your heart, when you were offered? I think the threshold for self-doubt and regret is enormous.

Joan said...

Luke & Christina are 2 years apart. Financially it was about the same. It does help if you have someone with clothes for hand me downs though? It was really kind of nice in raising them, because they had someone to play with other then me.

QuEEn oF tHe cAstLe said...

Our girls are 11, 9, 8 and 5. We are also fostering a 16 month old baby girl. I LOVED having my girls so close in age. They shared EVERYTHING! They also play really well together now. On the other hand, now that they are all in school...Daisy (our foster baby) gets my full attention and I KNOW she is thriving because of it. We are also a single income family and I am a stay at home mom. I NEVER let money determine the size of our family. I shop on sale, use coupons and my girls have never gone without ANYTHING! I know this must be a hard decision to make. But keep in mind long term...he WON'T be on formula forever...he WON'T be in diapers long...

:::praying in NY:::


Lani said...

that picture of her sleeping on the plane is soooo sweet!

It so sucks that adoption is so expensive! That is the primary reason why we most likely won't be doing it again. A big part of me really wants to, but the other part has the same "selfish" reasons along with a complete feeling with the way things are. I think we are probably done....but if i had a situation come up like you I don't know if I could pass it up...

Very tough decisions but as I said before just follow your heart.

And have a great date day!

The Glover Family said...

You see how it is up close with us. We have boys 22 months apart and we don't make squat for money.

It is as hard as it is rewarding. I think that having them close and struggling to make the budget while they are little will be the fodder for many of our fondest memories as we get older and they grow up/ we obtain financial security.

Brooke said...

I'll be thinking of you as you are trying to make your decision. I just can't imagine how tough it is for you. I do remember my mom always saying that growing up, her dad used to always say "The good Lord will provide". Yes, you are smart to be looking hard at your finances, but also, as cliche as it may sound "Where there's a will, there is a way".

My friends with kids two years apart say it's challenging, but ever so rewarding. Once you get into the swing of things, you will be able to leave the house again.

JordanWest said...

My mom most definitely has kids two years apart, shoot her an email and I'm sure she'll give you a full rundown of how it is :)
Good luck on making this huge decision. I'll be praying for you guys.

bri said...

God will provide no matter what! That is the same thing I have to remind myself of everyday. It never looks like we are going to make it but we know we are doing HIS will and what HE called us for and HE always makes a way! It never makes sense on paper but it just Happens!
Just listen to His heart on it and wherever HE leads you he will provide for you all!

And let me just say (in case you don't know...) our boys are 5 months apart. We got Moe when Bear was 6 months old (Moe was 6 weeks) and they have been best friends never any doubt. And I agree with Betsy... it is harder to get out the door but it is doable AND they are so comical together! They thrive off one another! I love having them this close! I am sad that Moe may be leaving soon... some would think it would be easier on me. Not really, it will be sad to lose one!

I will be praying as God leads me.I know he will guide you.

Kameron said...

Snow in Atlanta huh?? That is amazing. I managed to escape the foot of snow that has fallen where I live the last coupld of days. I had to go to California for work. Yipee! I know you will make the right decision regarding the adoption. We are going through the same financial exercise before getting pregnant again. I want them to be close but we are going back and forth over whether we can afford to have another baby in daycare, clothes, and all of that stuff. I will pray for your decision as I know it is a tough one.

Crystal said...

Praying you make the right decision for all of you. It seems to me that you want this though and I think you should go for it.

Isn't the snow wonderful! Was so happy to see it! I can't beleive you didn't let Josie play in it though! Shame on you! LOL!

You're in my thoughts.