Standing On The X

Are you still with me?

It's not very fun to share the messy like I did last week, but it's necessary in order to share the redemption.  I'm proud of the work Andrew and I are doing to recreate Us.  And if your marriage isn't exactly where it needs to be, I hope that seeing another couple climb up from the pits will give you courage and strength and energy to keep going.

I'm glad we didn't give up.

And do you know what?

As I read through everyone's comments and emails, it hit me hard.  We all had a rough 2014.  All of our marriages had crappy days and all of our kids drove us crazy from time to time (and time again).  My brother wasn't the only one to die.  Death stole from a lot of us and not a single one of us escaped unscathed.

But then it occured to me with an equal amount of force that all of us had grace and glory and epiphanies too.  We had love and redemption and chances to forgive and forget.

That post got more response than anything I've written about for awhile, which confirmed that it needed to be shared.  I was nervous you'd think less of me if I didn't have the whole world together at all times.  In reality, I think it gave permission for others to keep working.  Keep not quitting.  Marriage seems like one of those things that people only talk about if it's awful or if it's wonderful.  But what about the times it falls in the middle?  Still in love, still happy, but hard? 

And like Nora shared a few weeks ago, I don't want to make this look easy.  Because it isn't.  But it is worth pushing onward each day, finding new ways to make old things work.  Or rewriting it all and making a totally new thing. 

I'm glad I shared, and I'm glad so many of you were comfortable enough with me to share your story too.  This space is more fun when we move beyond consumers and start interacting.

I'm still not sure where I stand with my God.

I'm not ready to proclaim His will for my life was, well, what this past year dealt to me.  But what I do see is scripture becoming real.  I see Him making a way in the wasteland, a stream through my desert.  I see His right hand holding my family just above the water line, saving us all from drowning.

I see a spark of what the future may hold and it's good.  I hope you're seeing glimpses of that as well.

This is going to be our year.

All of ours.