Grace Flows Down

 

This Summer was anything but typical.

We traded our usual back porch parties, downtown outings, and laid back schedules for a cross country move that had us living 1900 miles apart for a couple of months.  In the midst of it, I could've sworn we were away from Andrew for at least 4 months.  Seriously.

But my day planner has yet to lie to me, and it's telling me it was exactly 8 weeks.  Two months.  That sounds so doable, but y'all, it was hard.

I mean, not at first.

The first few weeks I rocked out single parenthood.

We kept up with all the Summer Fun and I was nearly on time for most of it.  I was determined to make the sepearation as easy on the kids as possible.  I had shirts spritzed with Andrew's colongne ready and waiting for the nights they missed him too much to sleep.  I had activities planned and we all got along.

But somewhere around week five, I started to feel my equilibrium shift. 

I missed him.

And in that, I wasn't able to carry their emotion and mine as gracefully.

They quit believing me when I told them it was almost over and I quit believing we could make it.  I felt pulled and pushed and weak in the knees.  Our fun days switched to watching a boat load of TV and all of our attitudes started to falter.

The Grace I'd worked so hard to build up was running out.

The last couple of weeks weren't pretty.

I felt lost and had no clue how to regain myself.  I was short, snappy, and a real joy kill.

 I'm not an overly emotional woman.

I don't process things in a way that requires an immediate response.  I like to mull things over, toss them around, before I feel them. 

But this past Monday, as we drove on the bumpiest, narrowest, curviest, road through the Superstition Mountains, I felt all the feelings.  The excitement, the fear, the missing.  I felt the newness and promise and completeness of this adventure. 

A short 180 degree turn and I could see all of us.  The four roads that have unbelievibly merged together into this family that I can't live without.

We twisted through the mountains and all I saw was dry and sharp.

And out of nowhere, almost a mirage, water.

New and fresh and life giving.

And that's what I needed.  To remember that our harsh deserts can be inturupted by springs of Life when we least expect them.  The grace we need to give is given, flowing down.  Man, I needed to see that water in the desert.

We've been here for ten days and I'm already feeling like a new person. 

Everywhere I look is another reminder that where we are is where we are meant to be.  It's good.  Really, really good.

And beautiful.

Really, really beautiful.

Pictures from our Family Fun Day at Canyon Lake and along the Salt River