Big illnesses with uncertain outcomes, invading my life. Attempting to weigh me down. I don't like to think about it and have no words to talk about it so I carry it and sometimes it gets heavy.
Sitting on the back porch at our family cabin last week, I had a moment where I realized that carrying the weight of all the "what if's" wasn't productive. It wouldn't change the sucky diagnosis. It wouldn't make the miles any shorter. It wouldn't give me any redo's.
So I breathed in the crisp air and I set it all down.
Not that I won't still think about it and not that worry won't occasionally creep in, but I'm choosing not to carry it around with me.
I have more I want to say about it all, but no words to actually express it. So instead, here are some pictures from our day at my family cabin in Northern Minnesota.