She's Gone

I hate to have to say this, but Khyla went back home.

I'm bummed and sad and disappointed.

Mad that her shot at an amazing life was snatched away before it ever really got started.

Frustrated that we didn't have a say in the matter and wondering if we went about the whole thing the wrong way.

I feel awful for getting anyone's hopes up about the possibility of her being able to be adopted.

Blindsided.

I was well aware that the mom intended to take her back, but it thought she was serious about getting on her feet first.

She asked us to help her find a home for Khyla and then changed her mind just as fast as she had handed her over last week.

You'd think by now I wouldn't be surprised that some parents don't make choices that are in the best interest of their child.  But I guess that is a lesson I just can't wrap my mind around.

We called her earlier this week to discuss more long term placement options and she threw us for a loop when she told us she wanted her to just come home.  After digging a little deeper we learned that nothing has improved or changed so we aren't sure why she decided to take her back so fast.

We considered involving Children's Services but the sad reality is that the home situation isn't bad enough that they would remove Khyla.

Part of me thinks that she just wanted a babysitter for a week.

Part of me thinks she is just young and scared and not ready to admit she can't give Ky a good life.

We dropped her off and prayed that we made some kind of difference in her life.  That there was a reason we had her.  We were overly nice and let the mom know that if she needed a place for Khyla to go, to call us.  I'd rather be a free babysitter then see that sweet girl on the streets.

I'm beyond proud of my own kids.

Adding another toddler to the house, and one not used to having structure at that, was hard.  I was stressed and some moments were rough on them.  And even thought we repeatedly told Josie that Ky wasn't staying, she really wanted her to.

They took it all in stride and blew me away with their grace and adaptability.

I hope that we see Khyla again.

I'm still praying that the mom decides to give her a chance at a great life, that we will get to be a part of making that happen.

This part of fostering is so, so hard.