6.03.2012

seeking

My Sister In Law, Nora, posted a quote last week that went in my eyes and sunk straight into my heart.

"It's as true now as it ever was: he who seeks beauty will find it." 
- Bill Cunningham

I've read it and reread it at least 100 times.

And each time I read it, I nod my head and smile because it really is true.

Beauty is everywhere.

It's in the sprouting seeds that I sowed with my own hands and it's in the bright blue skies that we've been spending our days under.  It's there in Gabe's dimpled knuckles and Josie's infectious laugh.  

It's so easy to find the beauty while laying with Andrew, laughing at how he insists that eating watermelon out of the shell, in bed, is a normal bedtime activity.

But it's also there when I have to seek a little harder.

It's in the never ending laundry, the crabby mornings.  It's in the constant interruptions, the noise, the clutter.

When there's more month then money and when Andrew has to work later then planned.

It's there.

I woke up Saturday morning in a terrible funk. 

We had decided to shell out the money to get my car fixed only to wake up the next day and find Andrew's car not willing to start.  While I'm thankful that we had the money to fix them, car repairs are pretty much the exact opposite of what I wanted to spend that money on.  Our ten year anniversary is right around the corner and this was going to ruin everything.  I was bummed.  Big time.

I felt the discontent trying to slip it's foot in the door the second I opened my eyes.  I knew I had a small window of time where I could push it out and slam the door shut on it's fingers.  But I didn't.  I let myself mope and feel sorry for myself.  I realized how silly it was to be sitting in my gorgeous house, surrounded by modern comforts, grumbling about a tiny set back but I kept going.

Mad at the World and feeling like life was anything but beautiful.

There are days that beauty flashes a neon sign in front of me letting me know it's there.  It screams, "Slow down!  Take a look!  I'm here!"

And then there are days like Saturday where I have to put on my finest Georgia camo gear and go out hunting for the tiniest glimpse of anything resembling beauty.

So that's what I did.  I hunted like my life depended on it.  











And, wouldn't you know, I found it.

On a walk to the mailbox.  At a pizza picnic in the front yard.  In a good hour of playing before bed.

Turns out, I just had to seek.

4 comments:

kimmer said...

Somedays its harder to see...but it was right there the whole time. Be patient with yourself and know that you're never alone. There is beauty and joy in our mist...we sometimes have to look a bit harder.much love to you!

kelli said...

Great, great post!

Fallon Davis said...

Great post and so true, it is hard to see some days!

I know you have written about your sis in law before, does she have a blog? I actually have a great friend named Aaron who is 33 and was diagnosed last August with a brain tumour. Much different outcome then your brother. I was hoping that maybe your SIL was writting about their adventures post-surgery :)

Fallon Davis said...

So true and so hard to see some days.

Does your SIL have a blog. I know you have written about her before and I was thinking she was some sort of writer. I actually have a good friend named Aaron who is 33 and was diagnosed with a brain tumour last August. I was hoping your SIL was blogging about their post surgery adventures :)