Pure Joy

"Consider it PURE JOY, my sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, for we know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  And perseverance must finish it's work so that you can be mature and complete, not lacking in anything."
James 1:2

A few weeks ago, our Bishop preached on James 1:2.

I've heard this verse a bagillion times.

But this time, I actually HEARD it.

I'm sure you know the difference.

I have lots of moments that I'm completely, totally, overwhelmingly filled with unspeakable joy.

I have an amazing life that I'm sure I've done nothing to deserve.

But I can also admit that those moments of Pure Joy are not in moments of trial.

In fact, I stink at trials.

I mope, I pout, I question, I try to weasel my own way out.

It's only after the trial has passed that I think, "hmm... maybe I overreacted."

Needless to say my perseverance has not finished it's work.

Which, in turn means, I am not mature.  

And I'm still lacking.

So I've been focusing on trying to see trials when they rear their ugly faces instead of waiting for the calm after the storm.

And you know what, I'm glad James added in "trials of MANY kinds," because trials sure do wear a lot of masks.

Sometimes my trials look like a whiney four year old who likes to wait until I'm boiling to fully listen.

Sometimes they look more like a 15 month old baby who refuses to walk even though it's obviously stressing his Mama out.

Other times my trials look like doubt, insecurity, unrest.

Sometimes they whisper, "He's never going to be yours."

Other times they shout, "You'll never be enough."

They cause me to question if my friends really like me, if I'm a good enough wife, am I living out my faith???

Yes.  My trials are of many different kinds.

But they are just that.


Do you know the actual definition of Trial?

"a tryout or experiment to test quality, value, or usefulness."

"the action or process of trying or putting to the proof."

"a test of faith, patience, or stamina through subjection of suffering or temptation."

My trials don't define me, they test me.

And I'm OK with being tested.

I'm putting this Word deep in my heart.

I'm calling on it when my trials show up.

I'm gladly welcoming them.

Because I want to persevere.

I want to be mature.

And not lacking anything.

pictures have absolutely nothing to do with this post.  just random randoms from around my World.


Kameron said...

I have the same feelings. When the times are good, it is so easy to sit back and marvel in all of the wonderful things in our lives. Why is it so hard to see those things when we are having a rough time? Keep plugging away and know that God's will is working in your life and in Gabe's. You are good enough. You're his mama. :)