My Take On Dating

The other day a friend made the comment that Andrew and I sure do go on a lot of dates.

Maybe you've noticed it to.

And it's true. 

We do.

In fact, our goal this year is one date out every week.

Writing that out sounds a bit excessive.

But we need it.

When we first met, we spent every. waking. hour. together for an entire Summer.

He would pick me up by 9 AM and bring me back home around 11 PM. 

Every day.

Of course, we were in high school, had no jobs, and endless free time.

But our relationship was built on lots of Us Time.

Now we have kids and jobs and a mortgage.

We are very involved in our awesome church, Andrew's helping some friends with a new business, and I'm carting kids around all day.

Life is busy.

And if Andrew and I don't take a break and refocus on eachother, we lose sight of eachother completely.

So Date Nights are a must for us.

He works crazy, long hours at his job then spends countless more working on things to help other people.

I spent all day, everyday with midgets who poop and cry and whine and demand my full attention.

We've learned that it's very easy for us to fall into the role of Provider and Mother.

But we're more then that.

I am intellegent and witty, not to mention pretty fun to be around.  I can hold my own in a debate and I have creativity stored up inside of me.

He is insanely funny and insightful.  He's doting and affectionate and able to make my heart swoon.

And dates remind us of all that.

Anytime we start to get on eachother's nerves, we know it's been too long since our last date.

I personally believe that the biggest mistake couples make is that they stop dating.

Andrew loves to help other people.

He cares about them and wants to see them reach their full potential.

And that requires him investing time in them.

Dates show me that I'm important too.  It's something only I get to do with him.

And I don't mind one little bit when he has to go to a billion meetings a week if I know that in that week, there is a time carved out just for me.

We spend a couple hours every night after the kids go to bed talking and hanging out together.

But Date Nights are different.

And we take our dates seriously.

We have sitters that we trust completely so that we can leave worries about the kids behind.

We dress nice for eachother.

He buys me flowers or writes me a card and I send him texts all day telling him how excited I am.

Sometimes we go somewhere nice and sometimes we putz around Griffin.

Sometimes we go with another couple too.

But we've learned that it being just the two of us is what we both crave.

We know people that never go on dates with their spouse.

I think that's sad.

There's nothing better then spending time with the person who makes up your life.

One on one.

I know our marriage seems strange to some people.

We've overcome crazy odds.

None of my friends could be married to Andrew and I'm certain none of his friends would want to put up with my craziness.

But I love being able to say that I've never been happier then I am right now. 

And that I know I'll be able to say that for the rest of my life.

He is my best friend and if I could, I'd spend Every. Waking. Hour. with him just like we did that first Summer.

But since we can't, I'll take my excessive date nights!


Kayla said...

I totally agree! I've always loved that you and Andrew and are so intentional about making time for one another, especially with how busy you guys are.

We're nowhere near as busy as you guys, I'm sure, but Josh works 3 jobs and I work and go to school full-time. On the 1 weekday we see each other before 9 PM, we're both exhausted. We aren't big on dates - we probably go out less than once a month - but we are big on vacations. We travel at least once every other month and take a weekend or longer to rest, relax, and reconnect. It's so important for us, as an educator and a college student training to be an educator, to get away from the world of children with autism and books, reports, & projects. We are lucky enough to both have weekends off, though, and no kids as of yet - so we do get a lot of time together even without the dates.

I loved this post and all the pictures! :)

bri said...

So very fun. I wish we had people who would even THINK of sitting for us so we could go out too. At this point nobody really has time to sit for us. Nobody offers and so we don't try to burden anyone with a 1, 2 and 3 year old boys.

What it wouldn't be like to go on a date again.

I have been told that for our anniversary J's mom offered to watch the kids over night. I will take that one night a year. Granted, I will probably just fall asleep - so sad.

I say if you can do it, go for it. What a happy marriage you seem to have. Bless your family! :)

Jessica said...

You two are just the cutest couple!
I love that you plan a date night every week! Oh how I wished my hubby and I had a sitter so we could date! I miss it for sure!

Love all the pics!


Angie. said...

My husband Tom and I go out for a date night every Friday. We feel, like you and Andrew, that staying connected as a couple is extremely important. After the job is retired, the kids are grown and have families of there own, your spouse will be there (if you've done it right!). Keeping the love and excitement alive and kicking is so important! I also think it is a great example to our child/children of how to achieve and maintain a loving, respectful. long-term relationship. Date nights are so important and far too many couples miss out...keep up the 'excessive' dating...I know we will!

miamihoney said...

What a great post. I love that you love with all of your heart. It is truly the best gift to give love to our mates. This post is a great reminder of that task. Maybe I will work on dating my hubby more :)

Crystal said...

LOVE this post and totally agree! I don't have kids yet but I know when they get thrown into the mix dates are really a must! I know a lot of people that stop dating because they have been together so long but not us!