Measure Up

I have a confession.

I spent an absurd amount of time the other night entranced by a fellow blogger's account of how she homeschools.

And not because I was inspired by her ideas.

The reason I couldn't seem to hit that red x at the top of my screen was that her 3 year old was doing things that my 3 year old isn't close to touching.

Reading, spelling, writing, math.

I spent hours going through her archives trying to figure out how she taught her daughter these things at such an early age.

Desperate to figure out where I was lacking.

I copied her worksheets, I furiously took notes on her lesson plans, her schedule.

And around the end of my second hour, when I was on the verge of tears thinking I'd better just send Josie to school since I was already ruining her, God reminded me of something.

He stopped me about 10 seconds after I started trying to explain to him how far behind I was with Josie. One statement made me throw all my notes away,

"Isn't this the exact reason you're homeschooling?"

And He was right.

While the school system in Georgia is seriously lacking, classrooms are obviously overfilled, and they can't seem to get the arts out fast enough are all a big reason we decided we are the best ones to teach Josie, they weren't our main reason.

I am a firm believer (even if I sometimes forget that I am) that a child is only a child for a small amount of time.

And in our culture, that time is getting shorter by the generation.

Little girls in mini skirts and makeup. Little boys talking like sailors. Toys that promote sassy attitudes and TV with absolutely no morals.

Last year, Andrew and I decided we were OK with people thinking we were weird. We got rid of TV completely, threw out any movie of Josie's that didn't promote God and his values, and decided commercialized toys weren't going to be a part of Josie's childhood.

We've been told we are too extreme. That a movie isn't a big deal. That Josie will be out of the loop.

But when I consider what "the loop" is, I'm ok with her not being in it.

I want to homeschool. Not only to protect her from things that will make her grow up too fast but to protect her from comparison.

From feeling like she doesn't measure up.

So what if she can't recognize the letters yet? Is it that big of a deal if she doesn't know her right from her left? And if she doesn't learn to read until she's 12, will that really be the end of the World?

I felt awful for trying to compare her to that little girl.

She is 3. And I want her to be 3.

And I will be happy with whatever that means for her.