Working On Me

I was up late, late, late last night putting the finishing touches on the decorations for Miss Josie Kat's party.

I have lots and lots of pictures coming up. I am in love with the way everything is coming together!

But in the mean time, parties aren't the only thing I've been working on.

At the start of this year I decided that I wanted to be a better me in 2010.

2009 was a hard year for me and I didn't handle it in a very mature way.

I found myself complaining instead of praying, gossiping instead of confronting, making excuses instead of getting to work.

One night at the end of December, I was talking with God about how disappointed I was with the attitude I spend the majority of 2009 in. I asked Him to help me find the parts inside my Spirit that needed adjusting and then help me carry through.

Well, God was quick to begin pointing out areas that could use some work.

January was spent focusing on changing two negative habits, talking bad about people and being negative.

And after just one month I have to say, I feel great.

While I've slipped up, I have tried to bite my tongue when I have something to say that criticises a friend.

My gossip of choice? Other mothers.

Why is it that so many of us mothers are so quick to judge another woman's parenting?

I know that I personally am trying to do the very best job that I can and I feel ashamed that I assume other mom's aren't trying their very best.

Even if their very best doesn't look like my very best.

2010 is already looking up for our family, but it's not like the Heavens parted and blessing began to fall at the stroke of 12 on December 31st.

We are still trying to sort out past mistakes and the budget is still tight.

But instead of griping and complaining, I've started to praise God even during our storms.

It takes a little work to remind myself to be joyful even when I can't buy new curtains, but you know what?

It works.

I'm beginning to be able to just thank God that I have windows.

Hokey?

Kinda, but honestly, I am so very lucky to have the things that I do.

I am loving this new perspective and plan to keep trying to perfect in this month.

Last night I was gloating to God about how well I've done working on not gossiping and he was quick to give me the next step.

February is going to be spent working on two new things, sacrificing time and resources to help and give to friends and speaking up when others are gossiping.

Errr. I fought God on that one.

You see, even if I'm working on not using my words to talk about other people, I still enjoy getting to hear all the dirt from other people!

So in true God Form, He's asking me to step it up a notch and not even do that anymore.

That God. Always making things difficult!

Makes me kind of nervous to hear what He's going to ask me to do in March...