I'm trying to be patient.

But it's really, really hard.

This week marks one year since our last foster care placement. And I want another baby.


I tell myself that my life is so easy right now with only one child. I know her schedule to a T. We can pick up and go whenever we want. I get free time.

I use these as reasons that maybe I don't really want another baby.

But I do.


I hate that for me to get what I want, something tramatic has to happen for a child. So that makes me feel kind of bad too. But I can't help it and I'm getting tired of being patient.

Honestly, I am 100% ok if it's a temporary placement. Of course I'd like to adopt again, but I feel like I'm not being used and we have so much to give.

I know that when we do get a call it will turn my perfectly in order life completely upside down. And I'm ready for that.

I finally sent an email asking what the hold up was (in a much nicer way of course!) to our caseworker. I think I'm going to have to be annoying and email everyday to stay on their minds.

Today I spent an hour looking back at the posts from last April when we had sweet baby Karmen.

I forgot how huge she was.

And how beautiful.

I'm trying desperatly to be patient, but it's getting really, really hard.


StarfishMom said...

N, I'm waiting with you...It's only been 3 months since our last placement and I'm chomping at the bit for the next call... He is faithful so the least I can do is be patient...

P.S.- I think Josie will be an AMAZING big sister...

Maura said...

I have been feeling the same way lately. Sometimes it is so hard waiting for that phone call. It has been a year for us as well so I am starting to get a little antsy too:)

kimmer said...

You are such an amazing mommy. when the time is right another child will come to you and Andrew and Josie. keep on being patient and i will pray every day for it to happen. God will guild the way.

Cunz Family said...

You're a stong women and I truely believe good things will come your way, they have so far! You'll be a mommy again soon!!