Not too long ago, I was free with my words.
There was a very short distance between my thoughts and my mouth and rarely did I attempt to put more space there.
I was harsh, loud, judgemental.
I had an opinion on everything and an air of superiority.
Over the past couple years I've had a constant prayer.
It's simple, but a strong desire of my heart.
"Lord, let me have a quiet spirit. Help me make my words be few. When I speak I want my words to count and to edify."
It's a constant struggle for me to bite my tongue.
To keep my, often harsh, opinions to myself.
And even more so to lift them up in prayer rather then fester on them.
I know I must frustrate God.
With my one step forward, two steps back.
I've learned so much about the power of words over the last couple years.
God has taken many opportunities to point out to me how a tone of voice, a carefully choosen word, can alter the entire situation.
Fights or favor.
All wrapped up in words.
I've been working hard on using my words wisely. And while I still fail nearly daily, I've seen incredible results on others and myself.
But this past few weeks, God's been teaching me a new lesson on words.
Not only do we need to be watchful over what we say, we need to be just as careful about what we listen to others say.
Andrew and I are overbearing parents.
We try hard to shelter our babies from anything that can hinder their faith while they are still learning the foundations.
But I hadn't thought about how that even us grown adults can be suseptible.
We love our church.
We've felt like we were right where God wants us since the first day we crossed the threshold.
But we've gotten lazy lately.
Started to gumble and complain about things we didn't fully understand that were going on.
Spoke about it like we should have a greater influence. We could take them to the next level if they'd let us.
We pulled back from our commitments and started to envision all the changes we would make.
And then one of my closest friends started telling me about the churches they were visiting.
At first, I just listened.
And then I got super excited for her.
And then I got totally jealous.
Bible studies every week? Sunday School activities that everyone attends? Awesome Children's Ministry with all the bells and whistles?
Didn't I want all that too?
I did.
And I wanted it bad.
And all the sudden it was all I could think of.
Surely we were at the wrong church.
I had long conversations with Andrew about if we were really sure VTTN was where God wanted us.
I check out all the local churches websites.
I did church drive-bys.
I was sure God was going to tell us to move.
I went to church the next Sunday fully expecting confirmation on what I was feeling.
Instead, I got a brand new lesson on the power of words.
Well, it's actually not new at all. It's thousands of years old.
Words are like seeds.
And if those seeds are planted in soil that's been prepared, it will grow.
And if it's allowed to grow, you will reap exactly what you've sown.
My heart had been prepared for dissatisfaction.
Grumbling was my plow.
Complaining was my tractor.
It was fully fertile the day I took in the seed of what my friend was saying.
And I let it grow.
I sat in church that day while Pastor Keith repeated exact words that I had used to try to justify why we should leave the church.
And all I could do was smile and the exact opposite confirmation of what I had been expecting.
The lesson was learned.
The Bible tells me that, "The power of life and death is in the tongue." (Proverbs 18:21)
What I say, and what I listen to other people say, will have results in my life.
Especially if I'm not sure of God's plan for me.
Words are like seeds.
And it all starts with a seed.
