What Happened To February???

This month has been busy.

We've had major things going on multiple times every week.

It's not by accident though.

I planned it this way.

Because nothing makes a drab month drag on longer then anticipating something big at the end of it.

And not only does our little family have some super fun stuff at the beginning of March, it's also when we have Gabe's big court date.

March 3rd.

It's been looming over me for three months now.

And my nerves have had about all they can stand.

So rather then sit around and wait for that Thursday to take it's sweet time getting here, I jam packed our days as full as I could.

And I guess it worked because I just looked at my calendar and we're one week out.

And now I want to go back and get some more days between me and the Judges decsion.

I'm almost fully confident (like that twinge of doubt?!) that Gabe will not be making any immediate moves.  But my heart is just as scared of the Judge adding 3 more months on as it is of him leaving.

I want this to be done.

Over.

Finished.

Final.

I'm over the twice a week visits.

I'm over his name being fake.

I'm over telling Doctors I'm his "Foster Mom."

I'm more then over sharing him.

I'm sick of marking court dates on my calendar.

And I'm tired of the control his Birth Mother still possesses.

I hate the opptomisim in the Case Workers voice about her "progress."

And I'm done pretending like I think she is capible of caring for him.

7 Days.

I keep reminding myself that she hasn't made the least bit of progress in the Case Plan.

She's moved 3 times in 3 months, she has no job, no support.

Birth Dad is in prison.

My head says there's no way a Judge would send him from us to that.

But my heart knows they send kids back to worse.

So please pray for me these next 7 days.

I want to walk into that court room full of the kind of peace that only comes from my Heavenly Daddy.

I want to walk in confident and sure.

And I want to walk out with a TPR in my hands.

Here's to hoping this week goes by quickly.

But not too quickly.

Or maybe yes.