I think Amy is the only one who notices I'm not blogging, but that's enough to make me excited to start again.
See you on Tuesday with all new adventures from my oh so exciting life!
We have a busy week anyways and with our big beach vacation only 2 weeks away, I doubt I will even miss it!
Any Who, I will check in from the library and Starbucks between now and then!
Like I needed another excuse to go to Starbucks!
I knew she wasn't staying, but dropping her off was still really hard.
She screamed as I handed her over.
She reached out for me when I started walking away.
And I cried.
The most common response that I get when people find out we are foster parents is, "I wish I could do that, but how on Earth do you ever let them go?"
The truth is, you don't.
Each kid that comes through our doors changes a piece of me.
Their names are etched on my heart.
Hayden, Jayden, Preston, Josie, and now, Karmen.
I will always wonder about them. I will always look for them when I'm out. I will pray for them for the rest of my life.
And I will hope that they remember me.
I will hope that I made some kind of difference.
I made Andrew take her car seat out of my car as soon as I got home. It just felt weird to see it empty.
I know that someday another sweet spirit will sit in that same chair.
I am not sure if she went back to her aunts or if she is going to a temporary home in the county the aunt lives in. Either way, she is on her way to being brought back home.
And for the record, I never ever ever have had any regrets over any of the babies we have had with us.
A few tears on my behalf is nothing compared to the feeling of giving a child a little stability in an otherwise crazy existence.
The first week was a breeze.
This past week was a bit more challenging.
Karmen did a lot of crying. And not just a baby cry, she just holds this awful pitched noise for as long as she can. It was stressful and tiring and pretty annoying.
I can pinpoint when she started doing it. It was after the surprise visit with her aunt (the woman who was pretty much raising her before she came to us).
We got a call in the morning from the caseworker that the judge wanted to do separate visits with the birth mom and the aunt so that Karmen could have time to bond with each of them individually.
Fine by me, except for the fact that this poor baby girl now has to be reunited and then separated from her family every week instead of every other week.
She is way to young to know what is going on, but she is defiantly old enough to know that she is not with her family.
But it is looking like she will be going to live with the aunt again at some point this week.
The reason Karmen had to come to us was that the uncle felt is was just too much for him and his wife to care for Karmen long term. They are older and retired. But something over the past two weeks changed his mind and they are going to finish up getting their home approved and as long as it all goes well, she will be going back sometime between tomorrow and Wednesday.
I know I will miss her and I'm sure Josie will too.
We dropped the girls off at Kira's mom's house before the concert and as soon as I walked in the door, their Chow Pit mix attached itself to my foot. When I screamed he backed off, only to reattach himself to my thigh.
It hurt like hell and he totally ripped my fancy jeans, but I did my best to laugh about it.
The dog bit Andrew a couple weeks ago too.
I was hoping it would feel better after I put ice on it last night, but it hurts really bad today.
Are you kidding me?!? I spend most my time with two children who poop in their pants!
Of course I want to get dressed cute and go out with adults!
It wasn't until we were getting ready to go that I asked who was playing.
We had to go google Hall And Oats to see who they were. (Maneater, Your Kiss Is On My List, Sarah's Smile)
The show was at Chastain, which is pretty much the coolest place to go to a concert at. It's small so all the seats are great (ours were really great, right in the center!). And we had table seats so we got to bring in dinner and wine. People get really into decorating their tables. Next time we go, Kira and I are going to make sure we hook it up!
We stopped at Whole Foods and got our picnic supplies and were on our way.
When we walked in they had just started playing Maneater! I was so excited!Jeremy said he felt like he was in an elevator and Andrew spent a good portion of the time researching the history of Hall And Oats on his I-Phone.
But Kira and I, we had a blast! Between showing off our white girl dance moves and drinking our wine out of dixie cups (we forgot wine glasses!) we had an amazing time!I declared Hall And Oats my new favorite band as we were leaving. The show was so much fun!
People get really into decorating thier tables too. So next time we go, Kira and I are going to hook it up.Concerts are always better when they are free!
And date nights that involve more then just a slice of pizza? Pretty much my new favorite!
Breath taker awayer.
Make my heart flutter-er.My 26 Month Old Beauty.
Sheena and I took the kiddos to Monkey Joe's in Fayetteville for 1/2 price Wednesday. Turns out that deal ran out at the end of March, but we are so awesome they let us have the deal today anyways! Josie was scared of everything except the toddler area, so that's where we hung out.
There have been days that I thought would never end and times I've been close to breaking down in tears.
And then there have been days like today.
Days where I get the whole house picked up, have lots of time to play with both girls, and even make banana bread.
Days where the weather is gorgeous, and the gentle breeze reminds me that nothing ever stays the same.
Days where He reminds me that this is a calling, a ministry, a way of life. And that even when I think I am in over my head, He is right there ready to pull me above the water.
And hearing these two girls giggle with each other? I've never heard anything sweeter.
Josie has had some rough days too. Days where she just doesn't feel like sharing. Days where she wonders who this kid is and when she is going to leave.
Days where the urge to touch Karmen's eyeballs is just too great to resist.
But she has also had days like today.
Days where she is free to run and jump and slide to her hearts content.
Days where I remember to remind her 100 times that I am her mommy and that Karmen has her own mommy out there waiting for her.
But I am pretty sure that our rough days are nothing compared to what this little beauty's mother is going through. Her laugh is so contagious and her potbelly is just so adorable.
It breaks my heart that I am the one getting to care for her instead of her own mommy.
But I will soak up every ounce of her while she is with us.
I am going to miss her like crazy when she's gone.
Yup, God definatly made this day.And we will rejoice and be glad in it.
We ate way too much food and Josie racked up on even more Easter eggs.
Josie was so much fun! You should have seen her running after the eggs, squealing like a pig!
She even let them paint her face!She kept insisting that she had "2 Eggs".
We need to work on counting!And oh how I love a comparison photo!
Here is Darlene and Josie at Maw Maw's gravesite last Easter weekend:And here they are from today:
Tomorrow is going to be a jam packed day.
I had thought about just sending Josie to the family Easter dinner, but I decided that I wanted to go.
I really should be inside trying to figure out what I am going to need to bring to be out for 8 hours with 2 small children instead of surfing the net!
Not for any religious reasons. We just decided to avoid them finding out that they aren't real by just telling them up front.
But just because Josie's Easter basket will be from us instead of some big mutant bunny doesn't mean we don't get in on the fun that surrounds the holiday.
Case in point, I loaded both girls up, in the rain and tornado warnings, and drove to the Castellano's house to dye Easter eggs last night.
Well, to be 100% honest, the promise of Sheena's cooking helped me get up the motivation to get out in the bad weather!
Julian has some awesome toys and the ball pit in a tent was a big hit last night.And this little butterball? She just sat and looked cute while the big kids took toys away from her.Aaron went over the dying process while both toddlers waited quietly.
Well, at least they were waiting!And only my Mother and I wear white to dye eggs or to paint kitchens! Right Mom??!?!I leave 10 minute long voice mails too. And get lost driving in a town that I've lived in for 10 years.
Yup, I am my Mother's daughter.
Josie loved dropping the eggs in the dye.Most of her eggs were cracked by the time she was done with them.
And then the lights went out.
But that didn't stop us! We are serious about our egg dying.
It was a blast!
Thanks for inviting us Aaron and Sheena!