No Decision Yet.

For those of you who are waiting on our decision, I'm still wavering.
One minute I'm dead set on wanting him, the next it doesn't feel right.

I did finally pick his name. I settled back on the one we had picked out a couple years ago:
Caden Nathaniel.

I put off calling the family back all morning until they called me.
She thought she missed my call, but it was from the night before. I'm glad she called or I may have never got up the nerve.
It was the girl's grandmother, so the baby's great grandmother, and she was more then sweet.
I told her we had talked about it, but weren't 100% sure yet and told her we'd let her know very soon.
She totally understood. They just asked us to let them know as soon as we decided so that they could try to locate another family if we don't adopt him.
They seem like a great family. It breaks my heart that they can't raise him themselves.

So what's my deal?
Why can't I get myself to say yes?
Andrew had me make out a list of reasons that I wouldn't want to do it and they are totally selfish; it will cost too much money to have to buy formula and diapers, we don't have enough time to get ready, I won't be able to get any sleep.

Then when I picture myself with two kids, I can totally see it. Little Cade in his baby sling and Josie playing. I know I could do it. But it is such a sacrafice.
Josie was such a good baby and what if he isn't? What if he cries all the time? What if Josie hates having another kid in the house? What if we're not ready?

Anyways, that's where we are. My heart wants to do it, my head isn't ready for the sacrifice. But every time Andrew says, "so you don't want to do it then?" I can't get myself to say no.

Please keep us in your prayers. I need to see God's will for this situation and soon!

An Exciting Day

Josie and I made it home with no problems.
The flight was great. The person who was supposed to be in the seat next to us never showed up so Josie ended up getting her own seat. I will never fly with her in my lap again! She was awesome the whole flight. She just sat in her seat and looked around, eating her snacks.
She did end up falling asleep and had enough room to stretch out. It was our best flight yet!

Today we got an exciting offer.
There is a friend of a friend of ours that has a daughter (did you follow that?!?) who is having a baby in May and wants us to adopt him. She claims to be 100% sure she wants to place the baby for adoption and we are the only family she has considered.
We actually have known about it for a few weeks, but the family never contacted us so we had just let the idea go.
Then the Maternal Grandmother called me this afternoon.
We talked for a long time and she is just a normal mom with a teenage daughter who got in over her head.
It's a little boy and he is due to arrive in May. Only 2 short months away.
We haven't officially said yes yet.
Crazy, huh?
As much as I know that I want to have more then one child, and as ready as I think Josie is for us to bring another child into the family, I am beyond scared.
I don't want to short change Josie. I want to do what's best for us and the baby boy. I am not sure it's possible to love two children the way I love Josie.
Andrew is fully on board with saying yes. He's sure that I will never feel completely prepared for another baby and that eventually we will just have to go for it.
I know I've never been pregnant, but it seems like this is so much more of a decision that we're having to make then if we were to find out we're pregnant.
I'm pretty sure we are going to say that we are interested when we call them back tomorrow. I decided it's something I need to sleep on.

I will keep you updated. Please keep us in your prayers as we try to make the huge decision that will not only forever change our family, but the fate of this little man too.

PS - I'm totally stressing over names! Anyone got any good boy names?!?!

Day 14, 15, and 16

This cough kinda kicked my butt these past few days.  I think I would have been totally better by the end of the first 24 hours if I had rested, but vacation was almost over and I had so much left I wanted to do!  So I pretty much ran from sun up to sun down and didn't get enough rest.

Add that to being so busy that Josie didn't get much of a chance to nap the past couple days and you get one exhausted Mama!

Luckily I felt fine, I was just coughing up a lung and my legs were sore.  I'm feeling a million times better today.  I was getting nervous that I wouldn't shake it before Matalie is born.  And after she was gracious enough to wait for me to get back before she comes out, I had better not stand her up due to a cold!

Even with being a little under the weather, we didn't slow down a bit.

We did a lot of swimming, but I didn't take anymore pictures.  I figured we had enough splashing shots!

My brother and Katie left Monday afternoon so we went out to eat on the way to the airport. 

Once they were on their way, my Mom and I took up a past time that was a bit neglected this trip due to the large number of people with us... SHOPPING!

We seriously shopped all day yesterday and most of the day before.  Even though I was looking for things for me, I somehow ended up in the little girl section everyday.  

Josie was in love with every fountain we passed!  

Yesterday was day two with little or no nap.  But since it was the day before we were leaving we had to go out to dinner!  Josie got a final manicure before we left and we headed out.

Looking back, it would have been smarter to just order in, but I was determined to go out.  She did ok, but I was stressed that she was going to melt down the entire time!  

Needless to say, a two year old still needs a nap.

This morning I am trying to pack all our new things and birthday presents into an already full suitcase.  I already have one bag that my mom is going to have to bring with her when she comes for her layover in two weeks.

While I'm busy stuffing and squishing, my mom and Josie are enjoying the new tea set my mom got for her.  It is gorgeous.

It will be staying here until Josie is a bit older, but I can't wait to watch her have little tea parties!

Wish us luck on the flight home!  I'm praying for a little sleep!

Stay tuned for Matalie updates!  Amy thinks she'll be here by the end of the weekend and if she decides not to come out, they will induce on Monday!

I'm pretty sure she'll come on out once she hears my voice!

Arizona - Day 13

We are in the land of citrus!

And just to prove it, here is a couple pictures of the oranges and lemons that we have accumulated in the past 24 hours!

Good thing we like orange juice and lemonade!  

We spent a big chunk of time today juicing these babies.  Then drinking the freshest juice ever!

Which is a good thing since I am feeling a little under the weather today.  

I woke up with a bit of a cough and a sore chest, but I'm already feeling a million t

imes better, so hopefully it was just a 24 hour thing.

Josie had a great day.  I think she needed a low key day and that's just what she got.  

My brother and Katie went to a Suns game in Phoenix so Josie and I rested while my parents brought them.

Josie entertained herself for an hour with this spray bottle.

And I loved every makeup free minute of the day.  I forgot how great it feels to be all natural and tan!

Now we are about to settle 

in to watch the Oscars or whatever award show is on.  I'll probably be asleep within 10 minutes.

Arizona - Day 12

Today we went to the Parada Del Sol (Parade Of The Sun) Festival.  

It is a huge parade made up mainly of horses and cowboys.  The weather was perfect for a morning parade!

Josie didn't take her eyes off of the street until the very last horse passed!

Aaron and Katie!

The parade started right at nap time so every once and a while Josie would totally space out!  

She was a trooper all day.  We were so busy having fun that we ended up missing both naps. The only time we could tell she was sleep deprived was right before bedtime when she got a little wild.

After the parade, we walked over to my Aunt Robbin's for some pizza and swimming!

We spent the whole afternoon over there having a great time.  

My Aunt and Uncle leave for Minnesota tonight and my Grandparents and other Uncle are leaving in the morning for Mexico, so this was our last get together.  Boo.

There was a lot of pizza eating followed by some ice cream.  Not exactly bikini eating, but oh well.  Luckily we're all family so it's OK if we gain a little weight!

Josie all but passed out on Aaron while she was eating her ice cream!

Here's Josie, eating another orange!

Tomorrow we don't have any plans.  I'm going to get in some tanning time and hoping to finish up the shopping I want to do while I'm here.

I can't believe it's almost time to go home!  I miss Andrew like crazy and am seriously concerned that Amy is going to have the baby before I get home so I'm about ready to head back.  

I just wish I could pack all my family (and this Arizona weather!) in my bag!

Arizona - Day 11

We had a blast at the Phoenix Zoo today!

Josie was a great age for the zoo now that she knows her animals so much better then she did last year.  I think next year will be perfect.  

It was hard for her to walk much and she couldn't see a lot of the animals from her stroller so there was a lot of in and out, but she had a great time.

We ate lunch as soon as we got there, but she was chomping at the bit to get out to see the animals!

The giraffes came so close!  It was awesome!

A lot of the animals were sleeping because it was so hot out, but we did get to see quite a few roaming around.

The Red Butted Monkeys (pretty sure that's not the scientific name!) were a crowd favorite. They were just hanging out posing for everyone!

It was super warm so we took quite a few breaks.  We got to watch them feed the Zebras.

Of course Josie's total favorite wasn't even a real animal.  It was this stone turtle!  Glad we paid $20 for her to sit on a rock!

We had to ride the carousel before we left!

By the end of the afternoon, we were pooped!

After a short, 30 minute nap Josie helped Mae Mae pick out some lemons that the neighbors had just picked.

We took a very tired baby out to dinner.  Not the best idea.  

But we sat in a booth with huge pillows in the corner so she had lots of room to lounge!  

And the food and wine were so good we barely noticed the whiner in the corner!

Arizona - Day 10

No pictures today!

We ended up bringing Andrew to the airport to try his luck getting on the red eye on a buddy pass.  He got on, but Josie and I didn't get to bed until 12 which is late for us.

Plus we were trying to sleep in the living room so that my brother and Katie could have the back bedroom.

She went to sleep OK, but woke up a few hours later.  She ended up sleeping on the twin bed with me.  Have I mentioned what a bed hog she is!?!?

So needless to say I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night.

A Venti Latte and a new swimsuit did the trick of putting me in a great mood though.

It was 80 degrees today and should be for the rest of our vacation.  We went for walks and played outside.  The whole family (all 12 of us) just finished dinner.

I'm blogging to dodge dish washing duty!

Tomorrow is Zoo Day!  I'm sure we'll take tons of pictures!

Arizona - Day 9

Today was Andrew's last day of vacation.
Well, we just found out that yesterday was supposed to be his last day of vacation since we accidentally made his flight reservation for today. So he totally missed his flight. We are in frantic mode trying to find a way to get him home in time for work without spending $500.
But even though he missed his flight, he did get to spend another day in the sun! Josie was a Daddy's Girl too!It was gorgeous today! The temp stayed at about 75 degrees with a completely clear sky and a light breeze. We spent the entire day at the pool and are now all sporting some nice tans!Now that Aaron and Katie are here we don't all fit in the car so Andrew and I rode bikes over to my Aunt's pool.
I hadn't been on a bike since middle school! I was really scared, but had so much fun once we started! I wish we had bike trails like this at home!Since all we did was lay in the sun and swim I only took a few pictures!

Josie has two new best friends now.

Andrew and I don't even exist to her now that these two are here!

It is so strange to be home with my brother. It feels just like high school, except that we have two extra adults and a baby in the house!

Josie has been doing great entertaining herself in the few minutes when there isn't someone pampering her.

Such a little Mama!

I'd better go help Andrew come up with a plan to get home so he doesn't stress too much! Wish us luck!

Arizona - Day 8

Andrew has made a discovery on this trip that I am not totally thrilled about.

Old man glasses.
He swears they are the greatest things ever invented. We went on a date today and he tried to convince me of all the perks that these glasses offer.

I'm a little scared that they may show up in Atlanta when I start to unpack!

We had a great date day.

After we laid Josie down for her nap we headed out to Old Town Scottsdale to walk around.

It was a gorgeous day, sunny and mid 70's.

Andrew found some Ass Water at one of the stores. We thought it was hilarious.
I guess we're easily amused.

Then we decided to drive up Camelback Mountain, you know, since I won't climb it! There are some huge houses built right on the mountain. It's beautiful, but I don't think I'd want Josie playing outside next to a 40 foot drop off!When I started seeing signs like this I made Andrew turn around! We just got back from dinner with my mom and Bill. It was nice to go out with just a small group!

We went to the first Mexican Restaurant in Scottsdale. It was yummy! They make all their tortillas fresh and all that jazz.

Not to mention they make a killer Strawberry Margarita!We sat right next to the fish tank so Josie was entertained the whole meal.She eats her salsa with her fingers and her chips with a fork.

Everyone has been laughing about the foods Josie likes. Olives, Salsa, pickles.

We are home now and getting ready to watch a movie.

My brother gets in tomorrow! I can't wait to spend a week with him!